December 10, 2010 | SeMeN SPeRmS SuPeR SiTe

Cannibal Holocaust

    • Tens of thousands of angry students rampaged through the streets of London on Thursday, smashing windows of the Supreme Court, pelting police at the Treasury with rocks, and setting fire to a Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square after parliament voted to triple university tuition fees.
    • Some years ago I had a colleague I’ll call June. It seemed that every time I went to the ladies’ room, June was there, applying mascara, combing her long, dark tresses and chatting. She also spent lots of time out on the sidewalk smoking, and in the cafeteria. Exceedingly friendly and warm, she knew everyone and devoted much of her day to catching up on their personal news. What she didn’t spend much time on was work. A guy who sat in the cubicle next to hers once told me that he estimated she put in just two hours a day of what could be described as productive labor.
    • Later today, Pete Doherty, the Kooks, Billy Bragg, Imogen Heap, Orbital and many more will gather in a London studio, collaborating in a bid for this year’s Christmas No 1. But the strangest bit is not the team-up: it’s that they are not recording a single note. The ad hoc supergroup is assembling in support of Cage Against the Machine, a charity campaign to take John Cage’s infamous 4’33” – a composition of pure silence – to the top of the Yuletide charts.
    • When looking for part-time work, her boss had her wear high heels and step on fruits, saying the video was to be published abroad. Afterward, the boss graduation changed the object that was stepped on to fish, worms, lobsters, and other living things, even threatening her that if she did not continue [to do the job, stepping on things], he would publicly release the videos onto the domestic Chinese internet.
    • “It was like good, fully-developed veal, not young, but not yet beef. It was very definitely like that, and it was not like any other meat I had ever tasted. It was so nearly like good, fully developed veal that I think no person with a palate of ordinary, normal sensitiveness could distinguish it from veal. It was mild, good meat with no other sharply defined or highly characteristic taste such as for instance, goat, high game, and pork have. The steak was slightly tougher than prime veal, a little stringy, but not too tough or stringy to be agreeably edible. The roast, from which I cut and ate a central slice, was tender, and in color, texture, smell as well as taste, strengthened my certainty that of all the meats we habitually know, veal is the one meat to which this meat is accurately comparable.”
    • No these are not from Jeffery Dalmer’s pantry, they are from Kittiwat Unarrom’s art studio and unlike Dalmer’s delicacies, these are actually edible because they are made of bread and not human flesh. Unarrom is a fine art student and the son of a baker who has combined these two disciplines to create these intrepidly disturbing baked goods.

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