Ink

Shrimp On The Barbie

    • Actor Paul Hogan, best known for playing an outback hunter in the “Crocodile Dundee” movies, has been stopped from leaving Australia until he pays a multi-million dollar tax bill, according to his lawyer.
    • Officers questioned last week why someone would ship a tombstone from Kingston, Jamaica, to London. An X-ray machine revealed packages of the drug in a metal box, wrapped in metal mesh and hidden inside the hollowed-out concrete marker.
    • An abandoned boat carrying about 1,100 pounds of marijuana drifted ashore this week on a Treasure Coast island in Florida.
    • Shape shifting lizards on TV.
    • Wearing a ski mask and gloves, he seemed oddly calm and methodical as he bound her with zip ties and duct tape, she said. Then he slipped a pillowcase over her head and sexually assaulted Mills for 45 minutes. “He seemed very assertive when he talked and not like somebody who’s, you know, panicking. He seemed like he knew what he was doing,” Mills said. Still blindfolded, he forced her into the bathroom where she heard water running. “I started to panic and I thought he was going to shoot me in the bathtub,” she said. “Just over a month from my 26th birthday, and I was going to die.” Mills was forced to take a long bath and told to wash carefully, while her rapist calmly walked about her apartment cleaning up after himself. Then he was gone, taking with him all the evidence, including the bed sheets.
    • Among other issues, Levin said, female undercover agents in costume have asked male Burners for drugs, drug-sniffing dogs and their handlers have roamed camps, and armed officers have “snooped” on revelers at dances. Last year, almost 300 Burners were cited or arrested by federal officers
    • A strange chemical smell lingered in the stifling heat as a group of environmental scientists groped in the darkness through one of the most polluted places on Earth. The Iron Mountain Mine, outside of Redding, is a hellish pit where acid water sloshes against your boots, greenish bacterial slime gurgles out of the walls, and stalactites and stalagmites of acid salt, copper and iron jut out like rusty daggers.

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    Binaural Beats To Blow Yer Brains

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      Trees Older Than Jesus

      • What do Johnny Cash, nazis, jive-talking pimps, and blimps have in common? Not much, but they made great fodder for christian comic books back in the ’70s. Below are four complete, great/awful Spire comic books in PDF format, download away, sinners.
      • I still distinctly remember the weird and creepy sensation that came over me as I read the coverless Archie comic I found in the box. It featured all the familiar characters, going through their typical trials and tribulations at Riverdale High, and the artwork was the same as usual. Yet, as I read it, I felt as if it had been made in outer space. Something was off. Something seemed completely wrong. After finishing its twenty-eight pages, I had a feeling similar to that of being molested. Since it had no cover, it would not be until a few years later that I would discover exactly what it was that I had read. It was called Archie’s Something Else! written and drawn by an experienced Archie comics staffer named Al Hartley in 1975. It was over the top right wing, pro-Christian propaganda, cleverly disguised as a run-of-the-mill Archie comic.
      • One is 4,800-years-old!
      • Police said the woman’s companion, an off-duty Baltimore police officer, got into an argument and physical confrontation with Brown after they left the club Eden’s Lounge. His sister said there was no fight, and that her brother apologized and tried to walk away. What happened next is not in dispute — the officer pulled out his department issued Glock handgun and fired at the unarmed Brown 13 times from just a few feet away.
      • The Drew Street gang was for years one of the most dangerous street gangs in northeast L.A. Hooded gang members lurked behind parked cars and on apartment balconies. At night, tires squealed and gunshots echoed while neighbors huddled in their homes. In response to the nightly terror the City renamed the streets where the gang congregated Gay Street and Pansy Square. Overnight, after the name change, the gang no longer congregated there and crime decreased.
      • Coming in rectally — via one person — were a green cigarette lighter, cigarette rolling papers, a golf-ball size baggie of tobacco, a bottle of tattoo ink, eight tattoo needles, a one-inch-long smoking pipe and a small baggie of suspected marijuana, said Sgt. John Kruse, a Wenatchee Police Department spokesman. “We were all wondering, ‘How do you put all that up there?’ ” Kruse said. “The tobacco was pretty impressive; it was a good ounce.”
      • Leck mich im Arsch (literally “Lick me in the arse”) is a canon in B-flat major composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
        Thanks Vince Wilt
      • As BP makes its latest attempt to plug its gushing oil well, news photographers are complaining that their efforts to document the slow-motion disaster in the Gulf of Mexico are being thwarted by local and federal officials–working with BP–who are blocking access to the sites where the effects of the spill are most visible. More than a month into the disaster, a host of anecdotal evidence is emerging from reporters, photographers, and TV crews in which BP and Coast Guard officials explicitly target members of the media, restricting and denying them access to oil-covered beaches, staging areas for clean-up efforts, and even flyovers.
      • That’s why when Israeli security forces kill more than 3,000 civilians in Gaza since 2001 and Palestinian rockets fired from Gaza kill 27 Israelis over the same time period, people can argue with a straight face that Israel’s self-defense needs require it to impose a crushing blockade on Gaza that has forced 10 percent of the population into chronic malnutrition.

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      Smokin’ Elvis’ Toenails

      Thanks to Brendan Donnelly for the gif

      • The Maniac lurks on crowded Tube platforms, taking his stand just behind the front ranks of oblivious passengers who are waiting for the train. In front of him, very near the platform edge and indeed too near to recover herself if something made her loose her balance, is his chosen victim a young woman. Then, as the train sweeps into the station, the Maniac gives her a short, abrupt but irresistibly powerful thrust in the back. She topples forward and …
      • From 1917 to 1942, a man named John R. Brinkley became very rich and famous for transplanting goat testicles (which he called “glands”) into thousands of men, who paid dearly for the procedure thinking that it would revive their libido. That hundreds died, thousands suffered terrible pain and were maimed and crippled for life from a dangerous, expensive and useless operation does not take away from the magnificent marketing genius and chutzpah of this titan of quacks.
      • “Work at Notting Hill Gate Tube station has recently uncovered these amazing advertising posters that date from c1956-1959 when the station’s lifts were removed and replaced by escalators.”
      • So… Norm gets off the plane in Tokyo, First day in town he walks past a Mcdonald’s in Shibuya and nearly shits himself. It seems somebody has illegally reproduced his artwork and made wallpaper out of it… Now its in nearly every Mc-D’s in Tokyo. -I smell a lawsuit.
      • And if he was hoping to catch boys, he had a weird way of doing it. Instead of point the lens at the window or door, he had it pointed toward the girl’s bathroom. Either he was hoping to catch a wayward restroom intruder, or he wanted to catch the girl in a state of undress.
      • A Philadelphia man was found not guilty on Monday of murdering a policeman who died 41 years after the defendant shot him.
      • On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an ‘Attempted Rape Flight’ that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.
      • The American’s black lace corset resembling an offcast from the nearby Moulin Rouge cabaret has been the talk of the French Open, and the accompanying tight skin-colored knickers have raised just as many dumbstruck glares.
      • Once inside, he spray-painted elaborate graffiti on one side of a train, across one carriage. The Straits Times understands that the vandal, a 33-year-old Swiss national, cut through the fence of the depot along Xilin Avenue, in what is believed to be the first such case of vandalism here.
      • “Somehow, this damn parasite knows how to make cat urine smell sexually arousing to rodents, and they go and check it out. Totally amazing.” – Dr. Sapolsky
      • Spokespersons were advised never to assure the public that an ecosystem would be back to normal after the worst case scenario, which we are now living through. “No statements shall be made concerning any of the following: promises that property, ecology, or anything else will be restored to normal.” Even in BP CEO Tony Hayward’s new television commercial his assurance is an ambiguous, “We will make this right,” which does not specifically address preserving or restoring America’s Wetlands.
      • “You’d rather do 30 days in jail than have me tell you you can’t smoke dope?” the ignorant judge fumed. “Doesn’t that sound a little sick?” the judge asked, seemingly too dumb to get the irony of his dumbassery. “No, sir,” Balzer said. “It’s what the marijuana does for me.” “I think if I sat around smoking dope all day, it would probably help me out, too,” the proudly ignorant judge replied. Balzer said he only smoked marijuana at night, to ease his pain.
      • Toxicologists who studied Presley’s tissues isolated at least eight different barbiturates and narcotics—including Valmid, Quaaludes, codeine, Placidyl and phenobarbitol.

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      Where Should I Get My Taz Tattoo?

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      Every Day Is April Fools Day For Me – Every Night Is New Years Eve

      • Six young people have been indicted on charges ranging from statutory rape to criminal harassment in the death of 15-year-old Phoebe N. Prince, who hanged herself in January after months of intense bullying at South Hadley High School.
      • Civil forfeiture laws represent one of the most serious assaults on private property rights in the nation today. Under civil forfeiture, police and prosecutors can seize your car or other property, sell it and use the proceeds to fund agency budgets—all without so much as charging you with a crime. Unlike criminal forfeiture, where property is taken after its owner has been found guilty in a court of law, with civil forfeiture, owners need not be charged with or convicted of a crime to lose homes, cars, cash or other property. Americans are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but civil forfeiture turns that principle on its head. With civil forfeiture, your property is guilty until you prove it innocent.
      • Cannabis Planet TV was hoping to race to glory Saturday night, but instead never made it to the starting line when NASCAR refused to allow its marijuana-leaf adorned car to compete at the All America Speedway in Roseville, California. “We are incredibly disappointed,” says CPTV’s Brad Lane. “NASCAR didn’t explain why they banned our car.”

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