Necro | SeMeN SPeRmS SuPeR SiTe

King of the Dudes

    • The South American drug-smuggling business is becoming increasingly sophisticated as Colombian gangs use home-made submarines to get cocaine to Mexico. The crews have to put up with incredible heat, insanitary conditions and a lack of space. One former submersible captain told SPIEGEL about his experiences.
    • Earlier this year, Markle–who used the online moniker “Prankster”–was sentenced to three years probation after he pleaded guilty to two felonies stemming from a phone prank targeting an Arby’s restaurant in Louisiana. He also remains the target of a Kentucky police probe examining a repulsive prank at a Lexington hotel that ended with a front desk clerk drinking the urine of a hotel guest.
    • Police say 41-year-old Melissa Lee Williams asked her estranged husband and his friend to perform oral sex. The friend said he would, but changed his mind when the clothes came off and a vaginal smell filled the air. And it was apparently not a very good one. Police found all three naked from the waist down, apparently (but not surprisingly) intoxicated. Williams had allegedly pulled a knife and said, “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat,”
    • Scientists have found that proteins can be removed from the brain’s fear center to delete memories forever. The research has drawn interest — and concern — from some involved in mental healthcare.
    • While most see the holiday season as one of joy and merrymaking, at least one Hayden, Idaho, resident is taking the opportunity to spread a little hate courtesy of a noose-carrying, KKK hood-wearing snowman on their front lawn.
    • A proposed new bill would make at a crime to publish the name of an intelligence source, even after it’s already leaked. Note that it is already illegal to leak such a name, but this bill seeks to make it illegal to publish the names after they’ve been leaked. This seems like a classic violation of the First Amendment. As Wired notes, something like this would make it illegal for a newspaper to publish the fact that former Panamanian dictator Manuel Noreiga was once a paid CIA intelligence source. Hell, there are claims that Osama bin Laden worked with the CIA decades ago. Should it be illegal to report that?
    • Thanks Baller
    • Its capacity makes the PlayStation 3 cluster about the 33rd largest computer in the world, Barnell said. “It’s in that magnitude. ”
    • An expert in the fight against child sexual abuse is raising the alarm about a technique the TSA is reportedly using to get children to co-operate with airport pat-downs: calling it a “game”. Ken Wooden, founder of Child Lures Prevention, says the TSA’s recommendation that children be told the pat-down is a “game” is potentially putting children in danger. Telling a child that they are engaging in a game is “one of the most common ways” that sexual predators use to convince children to engage in inappropriate contact,
    • A 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.
    • The Rolling Stones said it best, “You, you make a dead man cum.” A 38 year old female mortuary worker is being held on $250,000 bond after becoming pregnant by one of her clients-a dead man. The alleged crime took place at the Mourning Glory Mortuary just outside of Lexington, Missouri. Police have charged Felicity Marmaduke with desecration of the dead and necrophilia.
      Thanks Ramone.
    • Denver Police Spokesman Matt Murray said that a citizen called police at 3:27 p.m. to report the presence of the plastic white toy robot cemented to the base of a pillar supporting a footbridge near the intersection of 20th and Wazee streets. Police closed 20th Street between Blake Street and Chestnut Place, but did let a few people past the police tape to retreive cars parked in nearby lots. Nobody was allowed within about 100 yards of the robot. “Are you serious?” asked Denver resident Justin Kent, 26, when police stopped him from proceeding down 20th Street. Kent said that he lived just past the closed area, but was told he would have to go around via Park Avenue. “I can’t believe it. This is ridiculous,” said Kent. Traffic piled up at adjacent intersections as rush hour commuters were forced to detour around the closure.
    • They lived with their chow dog Chi-Chi in the Hotel Meurice, near Charvet, where he had his signature “spread eagle” collar shirts and cravats custom-made for himself and his dog: Wall always dined at the Ritz with his dog, whose collars and ties were made by Charvet in the same style and fabric as his master’s.

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    Smokin’ Elvis’ Toenails

    Thanks to Brendan Donnelly for the gif

    • The Maniac lurks on crowded Tube platforms, taking his stand just behind the front ranks of oblivious passengers who are waiting for the train. In front of him, very near the platform edge and indeed too near to recover herself if something made her loose her balance, is his chosen victim a young woman. Then, as the train sweeps into the station, the Maniac gives her a short, abrupt but irresistibly powerful thrust in the back. She topples forward and …
    • From 1917 to 1942, a man named John R. Brinkley became very rich and famous for transplanting goat testicles (which he called “glands”) into thousands of men, who paid dearly for the procedure thinking that it would revive their libido. That hundreds died, thousands suffered terrible pain and were maimed and crippled for life from a dangerous, expensive and useless operation does not take away from the magnificent marketing genius and chutzpah of this titan of quacks.
    • “Work at Notting Hill Gate Tube station has recently uncovered these amazing advertising posters that date from c1956-1959 when the station’s lifts were removed and replaced by escalators.”
    • So… Norm gets off the plane in Tokyo, First day in town he walks past a Mcdonald’s in Shibuya and nearly shits himself. It seems somebody has illegally reproduced his artwork and made wallpaper out of it… Now its in nearly every Mc-D’s in Tokyo. -I smell a lawsuit.
    • And if he was hoping to catch boys, he had a weird way of doing it. Instead of point the lens at the window or door, he had it pointed toward the girl’s bathroom. Either he was hoping to catch a wayward restroom intruder, or he wanted to catch the girl in a state of undress.
    • A Philadelphia man was found not guilty on Monday of murdering a policeman who died 41 years after the defendant shot him.
    • On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass façade of the Natuurhistorisch Museum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an ‘Attempted Rape Flight’ that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.
    • The American’s black lace corset resembling an offcast from the nearby Moulin Rouge cabaret has been the talk of the French Open, and the accompanying tight skin-colored knickers have raised just as many dumbstruck glares.
    • Once inside, he spray-painted elaborate graffiti on one side of a train, across one carriage. The Straits Times understands that the vandal, a 33-year-old Swiss national, cut through the fence of the depot along Xilin Avenue, in what is believed to be the first such case of vandalism here.
    • “Somehow, this damn parasite knows how to make cat urine smell sexually arousing to rodents, and they go and check it out. Totally amazing.” – Dr. Sapolsky
    • Spokespersons were advised never to assure the public that an ecosystem would be back to normal after the worst case scenario, which we are now living through. “No statements shall be made concerning any of the following: promises that property, ecology, or anything else will be restored to normal.” Even in BP CEO Tony Hayward’s new television commercial his assurance is an ambiguous, “We will make this right,” which does not specifically address preserving or restoring America’s Wetlands.
    • “You’d rather do 30 days in jail than have me tell you you can’t smoke dope?” the ignorant judge fumed. “Doesn’t that sound a little sick?” the judge asked, seemingly too dumb to get the irony of his dumbassery. “No, sir,” Balzer said. “It’s what the marijuana does for me.” “I think if I sat around smoking dope all day, it would probably help me out, too,” the proudly ignorant judge replied. Balzer said he only smoked marijuana at night, to ease his pain.
    • Toxicologists who studied Presley’s tissues isolated at least eight different barbiturates and narcotics—including Valmid, Quaaludes, codeine, Placidyl and phenobarbitol.

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