File under SeMeN SPeRmS BLArRrG
Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on May 30, 2009
I was on the subway the other day and I saw this guy get on with a huge Casio keyboard over his shoulder
like the size of those ridiculous 80′s old school boom boxes.
He started welcomininin’ us to the ‘Soul Train’.
I scooted closer to clock his setup harder.
He started playin’ some of the pre-programed beats
hittin’ some random keys triggerin’ weird samples
…it was just gettin’ better!
Addressin’ his keyboard in a voice that sounded like E.T.,
He asked her if she was ready,
Strokin’ a key
a woman’s loud ecstatic moan answered YEAH!
boomed out the speakers
He rapped in a gravely voice ‘n played a recorder he had hangin’ ’round his neck by a string. Made my trip so much better, this was some real live entertainment.
His keyboard is actin’ a lil’ janky in this clip, but I feel like it’s part of the routine.
This is a recession’, step up yer game if you wanna get paid!
Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on January 17, 2009
Everyone loves frikkin’ Johnny Depp as the Keith Richards inspired pirate in those goddamn Disney films, but when it comes to REAL DEAL PIRATES, grimey Somalis with rusty RPGs, then you got the world shakin’ scared shitless, forkin’ over millions and shuttin’ their mouths in embarrassment, until they turn around and cry to the U.N…Boo-Hoo…It’s ghetto tax, bitches!
The whole situation smells like the chickens comin’ home to roost. We can only shit on the third world for so long before we see global repercussions, these guys want nice clothes and shiny RPG’s just like us Westerners. We’re creatin’ robbin’ hoods who are becomin’ local legends.
These pirates look pretty well funded ‘n crispy, compared to the others I’ve seen.
“People in Garoowe, a town south of Boosaaso, describe a certain high-rolling pirate swagger. Flush with cash, the pirates drive the biggest cars, run many of the town’s businesses — like hotels — and throw the best parties, residents say. Fatuma Abdul Kadir said she went to a pirate wedding in July that lasted two days, with nonstop dancing and goat meat, and a band flown in from neighboring Djibouti.” – NYT
“The pirates are sea savvy. They are fearless. They are rich and getting richer, with the latest high-tech gadgetry like handheld GPS units. And they are united. The immutable clan lines that have pitted Somalis against one another for decades are not a problem here. Several captured pirates interviewed in Boosaaso’s main jail said that they had recently crossed clan lines to open new, lucrative, multiclan franchises.” – NYT
“The problem facing foreign navies’ efforts to interdict pirates, says Mwangura, is their failure to address both the anarchy that prevails in Somalia and grievances over illegal fishing and toxic-waste-dumping in their waters that has prompted many local fishermen to sign up with pirate crews.”
““All you need is three guys and a little boat, and the next day you’re millionaires,” said Abdullahi Omar Qawden, a former captain in Somalia’s long-defunct navy.” - NYT
“The pirates are also sprinkled across thousands of square miles of water, from the Gulf of Aden, at the narrow doorway to the Red Sea, to the Kenyan border along the Indian Ocean. Even if the naval ships manage to catch pirates in the act, it is not clear what they can do. In September, a Danish warship captured 10 men suspected of being pirates cruising around the Gulf of Aden with rocket-propelled grenades and a long ladder. But after holding the suspects for nearly a week, the Danes concluded that they did not have jurisdiction to prosecute, so they dumped the pirates on a beach, minus their guns.”
Able to transport two million barrels of oil, the Saudi-owned Sirius Star is one of the pirates’ latest seizures.
“The pirates use fast-moving skiffs to pull alongside their prey and scamper on board with ladders or sometimes even rusty grappling hooks. Once on deck, they hold the crew at gunpoint until a ransom is paid, usually $1 million to $2 million. Negotiations for the Ukrainian freighter are still going on, and it is likely that because of all the publicity, the price for the ship could top $5 million.” – NYT
“Various photographs of pirates in situ indicate that their weapons are predominantly AK47 assault rifles, RPG-7 rocket launchers and semi-automatic pistols. Additionally, given the particular origin of their weaponry, they are likely to have hand grenades such as the RGD-5.” – Wiki
“In other well-known pirate dens, like Garoowe, Eyl, Hobyo and Xarardheere, pirates have become local celebrities.
Said Farah, 32, a shopkeeper in Garoowe, said the pirates seemed to have money to burn.
“If they see a good car that a guy is driving,” he said, “they say, ‘How much? If it’s 30 grand, take 40 and give me the key.’ ”
Every time a seized ship tosses its anchor, it means a pirate shopping spree. Sheep, goats, water, fuel, rice, spaghetti, milk and cigarettes — the pirates buy all of this, in large quantities, from small towns up and down the Somali coast. Somalia’s seafaring thieves are not like the Barbary pirates, who terrorized European coastal towns hundreds of years ago and often turned their hostages into galley slaves chained to the oars. Somali pirates are known as relatively decent hosts, usually not beating their hostages and keeping them well-fed until payday comes.”
The pirates holding the Ukrainian merchant ship Faina display the crew to the US Navy, which had insisted on verifying that the men were alive and well.
“The package at the end of a parachute shown in U.S. Navy photographs floating gently down onto the deck of the Sirius Star last week held the key to securing the release of the captive Saudi supertanker: a ransom reported to be as much as $3 million in bank notes. A day later, the ship’s owners announced that the vessel held by Somali pirates since mid-November had been freed, and its crew members were all safe.”
“In a bizarre twist of fate, however, most of the pirates didn’t get to enjoy their ill-gotten gains: according to the account by the Somali-based news site Somaliweyn Media Center, the pirates were “singing in colorful tone and exchanging some ridiculous words” while motoring back to shore in bad weather when one of their skiffs capsized. Five pirates are believed to have drowned; four survived but lost their booty. The body of one pirate washed up with a bag containing more than $150,000 in cash — a fortune by Somali standards. The pirates’ grim end even resulted in some small-scale redistribution of wealth: “Pastoralists traveling along the shore have slowly collected dollars floating on the surface of the sea, and some brought by the ebb tide to shore,” read the account on the Somaliweyn site. ”
“There have been both positive and negative effects of the pirates’ economic success. Local residents have complained that the presence of so many armed men makes them feel insecure, and that their freespending ways cause wild fluctuations in the local exchange rate. Others fault them for excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages and khat.
On the other hand, many other residents appreciate the rejuvenating effect that the pirates’ on-shore spending and re-stocking has had on their impoverished towns, a presence which has oftentimes provided jobs and opportunity when there were none. Entire hamlets have in the process been transformed into veritable boomtowns, with local shop owners and other residents using their gains to purchase items such as generators — allowing full days of electricity, once an unimaginable luxury.” -Wiki
“Nobody, it seems, has a clear plan for how to tame Somalia’s unruly seas. Several fishermen along the Gulf of Aden talked about seeing barrels of toxic waste bobbing in the middle of the ocean. They spoke of clouds of dead fish floating nearby and rogue fishing trawlers sucking up not just fish and lobsters but also the coral and the plants that sustain them. It was abuses like these, several men said, that turned them from fishermen into pirates.” – NYT
“The pirate city of Eyl is Somalia’s only boomtown. In a country that has seen 14 provisional governments since 1991 — all of them corrupt — high-seas hijackings have been the best business in town, and may net upwards of $100 million this year.” – Fox News
Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on January 15, 2009