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‘Either That Bulge Goes, Or I Do!’

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Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on June 6, 2013

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☠FTP☠FTW☠FML☠

  • Montel Williams has been the face of many things – host of a nationally syndicated television talk show and pitchman for prescription drug assistance products and a fruit-and-vegetable emulsifier.

    On Monday, Williams appeared in Sacramento to announce a partnership with a new enterprise, a medical marijuana dispensary.

  • Police say a western Pennsylvania stole a kind of “fake” marijuana while using a fake $1 million bill.

    Police in Sharpsville on Monday charged 23-year-old Joseph Lombardi with trying to “purchase” a bag of herbal potpourri called “Space Cadet Flight Risk” using the bogus bill at a FoodMart store.

  • Think you did some crazy stuff when you were using? From horse-painting to firewalking to “smudging,” the “therapies” offered by some of the ritziest rehabs may make your pre-sobriety days look positively tame.
  • THE psychedelic era of the 1960s is remembered for its music, its art and, of course, its drugs. Its science is somewhat further down the list. But before the rise of the counterculture, researchers had been studying LSD as a treatment for everything from alcoholism to obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), with promising results.
  • Pure Pleasure!

    Seven-Up is so pure…so wholesome!

    For a fact, you can even give this sparkling drink to babies—and without any qualms. Lots of mothers do just that!

    Just read the ingredients on the 7-Up bottle and you’ll see why. We’re proud to list them for your inspection, even though regulations don’t require this on soft drinks.

    Seven-Up has a special fresh, clean taste that appeals to everyone at your house—be he nine months, nine years or ninety. It’s the All-Family drink!

  • A Florida condominium association hopes dog DNA samples will help them determine which pet owners aren’t picking up after their pooches.

    The Village of Abacoa Condominium Association says cleaning up after dog owners who don’t clean up after their dogs costs $10,000 to $12,000 a year.

    Starting Aug. 1, residents in the Jupiter community must each pay a $200 fee to keep the dogs’ genetic information on file at the DNA Pet World Registry. Dog droppings found in common areas will be collected and mailed to the Tennessee-based company for comparison.

  • Theories as the cause of the mysterious luminous sphere have ranged from the opening of an inter-dimensional portal to the future to a battle between two alien starships.

    But the most likely explanation is that is shows a U.S. Minuteman III inter-continental ballistic missile (ICBM), ejecting fuel as it enters the upper reaches of the Earth’s atmosphere.

    The time-lapse footage shows the night horizon filled with stars, when suddenly an ethereal arc pops into view.

  • From pornographic names to subtle vulgarity to tragic unibrows, these old baseball cards remind us of why we used to collect them.
  • I was asked by an aspiring writer whether at this point it’s still worth it as a writer to own one’s own domain, i.e., in the age of everyone being on Facebook, setting up one’s online shingle elsewhere is like opening a business on a dusty street a mile away from Main Street.

    My thought on this: Hey, remember when everyone was on America Online? And then everyone was on Friendster? And then everyone was on MySpace? And now everyone’s on Facebook? Yeah, you’ll notice a pattern here, perhaps.

    Yes, but Facebook is huge, you say, with unspeakably large numbers of users worldwide and a valuation of $70 billion.

    Wow, I say, just like America Online was huge, with an unspeakably large number of users online and a valuation of over $100 billion.

  • Deputy Constable Paul Armand was making what he thought was a routine traffic stop early Tuesday morning when he pulled over a car that didn’t have headlights on.

    As he approached the black Mazda 626, the Precinct 8 deputy noticed the driver had blood on his face. He also saw that the front windshield was shattered and partially inside the vehicle.

    The deputy constable then saw a body in the passenger seat, partially underneath the dashboard and with a severed leg.

  • Think about it. We have less privacy and freedom than any generation in history.

    The government and big corporations know your every move. They know where you work, how much you own, how much you owe, where you go and what you buy. They know where you are, who you’re talking to and what you’re saying. They know what books and blogs you’re reading and what movies and TV you’re watching, and who your “friends” are. You are tracked by your cellphone, judged by your FICO score and monitored by your iPad. Your government ID number — known as your Social Security number — means that they can tie all these things together and trace them right back to you.

    Yet here was Whitey Bulger — the most hunted American in history — living a comfortable, middle-class life just blocks from the beach, right under Big Brother’s big nose. And they didn’t have a clue.

    Whatever you think of Whitey, that’s something.

  • Too fake, my county’s propaganda photo (Huili government website has already publicized an apology)

    Today I had nothing to do so I decided to visit my county government’s website. The front page news item was about the high standard repair of the public road that passes through the rural country but upon clicking and seeing the photo, I spit out half a liter of blood!

    This kind of image even I who can’t be any more amateur than I am can tell it is PSed, and they even thought it was a good idea to put it on the home page, even putting it as the topmost/first item! Perhaps it is because they don’t think anyone will look at their home page!

  • “I’m gonna tell you if you have youngsters in the living room tell them not to be alarmed at this ‘cause it’s a fantasy, the whole thing is animated…”

    — Ed Sullivan introducing the apocalyptic short film A SHORT VISION on the May 27, 1956 broadcast of The Ed Sullivan Show

    “Years later I met a man from Canada who had shoulder length dark hair, but in the center of his head was a small spot where his hair grew out a silvery white color. I asked him about it, and he told me that he was a medically documented case of a person whose hair had turned white from fright. As a child, he had seen A SHORT VISION while alone in a house, and he experienced extreme panic and terror for some time, and one result was that his hair began to grow out white from that one spot on his head.”

  • Russian scientists expect humanity to encounter alien civilisations within the next two decades, a top Russian astronomer said on Monday.

    “The genesis of life is as inevitable as the formation of atoms … Life exists on other planets and we will find it within 20 years,” said Andrei Finkelstein, director of the Russian Academy of Sciences’ Applied Astronomy Institute, according to the Interfax news agency.

    Speaking at an international forum dedicated to the search for extraterrestrial life, Finkelstein said 10% of the known planets circling suns in the galaxy resemble Earth.

    If water can be found there, then so can life, he said, adding that aliens would most likely resemble humans with two arms, two legs and a head.

    “They may have different colour skin, but even we have that,” he said.

  • The four and a half minute compliation of every Ray Harryhausen animated creature in feature films, presented in chronological order.
  • It’s an embarrassment of riches. A receipt – showing a astounding $100 million savings balance- was left behind at an East End bank by an arrogant mogul who couldn’t be bothered to pick it up after withdrawing $400 and paying a $2.75 ATM fee.

    It was found sticking out of the slot at the Capital One Bank in East Hampton Village by the next customer — who turned it over to the financial tabloid Web site Dealbreaker.com.

    Besides documenting an amazing $99,864,731.94 savings account, it illustrates one truth that every New Yorker knows — no matter who you are or how much you have, you can’t escape ATM fees.

  • “These people were some of the most hateful people I have ever seen,” said a distraught Glenn Beck this morning as he described an altercation he and his family had last night while watching a screening of Alfred Hitchcock’s The 39 Steps in New York’s Bryant Park. Explaining that a group of people yelled at his family, took pictures of them, and kicked a cup of wine onto his wife, Beck said that his security team feels that, had he reacted poorly, things might have “gone off.”
  • Contractors for Fruit of the Loom, Hanes and Levi’s worked in close concert with the US Embassy when they aggressively moved to block a minimum wage increase for Haitian assembly zone workers, the lowest-paid in the hemisphere, according to secret State Department cables.
    The factory owners told the Haitian Parliament that they were willing to give workers a 9-cents-per-hour pay increase to 31 cents per hour to make T-shirts, bras and underwear for US clothing giants like Dockers and Nautica.  

    But the factory owners refused to pay 62 cents per hour, or $5 per day, as a measure unanimously passed by the Haitian Parliament in June 2009 would have mandated. And they had the vigorous backing of the US Agency for International Development and the US Embassy when they took that stand.

  • Olwell adds that creating the billboard demanded the “most visceral approaches”. “They do not have language or culture and they have very short attention spans,” he says. “We really had to strip out any hip and current thinking and get to the absolute core of what is advertising.”

    And visceral is exactly what the team has gone for — working to the age-old mantra that sex sells. The billboards will not be made public until after the experiment has come to an end but: “One billboard shows a graphic shot of a female monkey with her genitals exposed, alongside the brand A logo. The other shows the alpha male of the Capuchin troop associated with brand A.”

  • A bizarre video where a gay activist claims he was prevented from taking part in the upcoming Gaza-bound flotilla because of his sexual orientation has been exposed as an Israeli hoax.

    It appears to be the latest in a dirty-tricks campaign that includes sabotage and legal challenges orchestrated by groups seeking to derail and discredit efforts by activists to sail into Gaza’s waters to challenge Israel’s blockade of the Palestinian territory.

  • Social networking sites are the hottest attraction on the Internet, dethroning pornography and highlighting a major change in how people communicate, according to a web guru.
  • Secret Codes ‘Everywhere’

    The brochure, which is published by a Berlin-based anti-racism group, Agentur für Soziale Perspektiven, lists 150 codes that are used by right-wing extremists, including certain clothing labels such as Thor Steinar and letter and number combinations. According to Weiss, the number 14 is a reference to the so-called “14 Words,” a phrase coined by the American white separatist David Lane (“We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children”). The meaning behind “88” — often found in conjunction with 14 — is slightly more complicated. Here, the number eight stands for the eighth letter of the alphabet, forming “HH” — an abbreviation for “Heil Hitler,” a phrase which is banned in Germany. Similarly, the number 28 signifies “BH,” standing for “Blood and Honour,” a far-right network that was banned in Germany in 2000.

  • John Lennon was a closet Republican, who felt a little embarrassed by his former radicalism, at the time of his death – according to the tragic Beatles star’s last personal assistant.

    Fred Seaman worked alongside the music legend from 1979 to Lennon’s death at the end of 1980 and he reveals the star was a Ronald Reagan fan who enjoyed arguing with left-wing radicals who reminded him of his former self.

  • Girls are being ‘converted’ into boys in Indore – by the hundreds every year – at ages where they cannot give their consent for this life-changing operation.
    This shocking, unprecedented trend, catering to the fetish for a son, is unfolding at conservative Indore’s well-known clinics and hospita ls on children who are 1-5 years old. The process being used to ‘produce’ a male child from a female is known as genitoplasty. Each surgery costs Rs 1.5 lakh.
  • At a single address in this sleepy city of 60,000 people, more than 2,000 companies are registered. The building, 2710 Thomes Avenue, isn’t a shimmering skyscraper filled with A-list corporations. It’s a 1,700-square-foot brick house with a manicured lawn, a few blocks from the State Capitol.

    Neighbors say they see little activity there besides regular mail deliveries and a woman who steps outside for smoke breaks. Inside, however, the walls of the main room are covered floor to ceiling with numbered mailboxes labeled as corporate “suites.” A bulky copy machine sits in the kitchen. In the living room, a woman in a headset answers calls and sorts bushels of mail.

    A Reuters investigation has found the house at 2710 Thomes Avenue serves as a little Cayman Island on the Great Plains. It is the headquarters for Wyoming Corporate Services, a business-incorporation specialist that establishes firms which can be used as “shell” companies, paper entities able to hide assets.

  • Thanks King Solomon
  • “You take an oath of office to obey the Constitution… the Constitution is very clear, you don’t go to war without a declaration,” he said. “I agree there is some confusion with the War Powers Resolution, because technically it legalized war rather than prevented war, so I don’t particularly like that bill.”
  • You can have all the firewalls and Internet security software in the world, but sometimes there’s just no accounting for human curiosity and stupidity.

    Bloomberg reports that The US Department of Homeland recently ran a test on government employees to see how easy it was for hackers to gain access to computer systems, without the need for direct network access.

    Computer disks and USB sticks were dropped in parking lots of government buildings and private contractors, and 60% of the people who picked them up plugged the devices into office computers. And if the drive or CD had an official logo on it, 90% were installed.

  • The FBI said Wednesday that members of an anti-gay fundamentalist group participated in the bureau’s training of police officers and FBI agents – a move the bureau says it will take steps to remedy in the future.

    The bureau extended the invitations to Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., for training this spring at two bureau facilities in Virginia: Quantico and Manassas.

    Westboro has stirred widespread outrage with raucous demonstrations at the funerals of U.S. military service members. The group contends God is punishing the military for the nation’s tolerance of homosexuality.

    National Public Radio first reported the FBI’s involvement with Westboro.

  • Greenpeace has slammed Volkswagen’s environmental record by claiming that the giant carmaker has stalled on fuel efficiency gains and is attempting to thwart an EU plan to dramatically lower CO2 emissions by 2020.

    In its report, ‘The Dark Side of Volkswagen’, Greenpeace complains that Europe’s largest car manufacturer has purposely restricted its most fuel efficient engines to a tiny minority of vehicles, and then drastically increased the price for consumers.

  • Police are looking for two men accused of setting a Brooklyn subway token booth on fire this morning while the attendant was inside.

    It happened at the Prospect Park Q line station early Wednesday morning during an apparent robbery attempt.

    The attendant refused to let the pair into the booth, and one of the suspects became angry, allegedly poured liquid onto the front of the glass booth and lit it on fire.

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File under Culture, Fetish, Music, SeMeN SPeRmS BLArRrG, SeMeN SPeRmS Links 'o Death, Sex

Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on June 30, 2011

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On A Scale From 1 to 10, Urinate

  • His Jack & Jill Truck was pulled over minutes later and investigators say the ice cream man, 46-year-old Yassir Hassan, was visibly drunk.

    Upon further inspection, authorities found several wine boxes inside.

    But even more disturbing was the discovery of at least three water bottles filled with urine and one of them was found inside the freezer unit used to store the ice cream.

    On top of that, Action News has obtained a copy of the inspection report performed after the arrest which determined the truck had “obviously no hand washing facilities in the vehicle.”

  • Tristane Banon, a writer, claims she had to fend Mr Strauss-Kahn off with kicks and punches when he invited her to a meeting in a room furnished with a double bed and a television. He said he went at her “like a chimpanzee on heat” during the alleged incident in 2002.

    Her husband, a Socialist politician, said she spoke to Mr Strauss-Kahn about it and he said: “I don’t know what came over me, I lost the plot.”

  • For some reason, this bright young rap artist’s career never seemed to get off the ground…
  • Skeptics are important in achieving an objective view of reality, however, skepticism is not the same as reinforcing the official storyline. In fact, a conspiracy theory can be argued as an alternative to the official or “mainstream” story of events. Therefore, when skeptics attempt to ridicule a conspiracy theory by using the official story as a means of proving the conspiracy wrong, in effect, they are just reinforcing the original “mainstream” view of history, and actually not being skeptical. This is not skepticism, it is just a convenient way for the establishment view of things to be seen as the correct version, all the time, every time. In fact, it is common for “hit pieces” or “debunking articles” to pick extremely fringe and not very populated conspiracy theories. This in turn makes all conspiracies on a subject matter look crazy.
  • A top Duma political leader caused shock waves in a recent television interview when he warned that Russia could deploy an arsenal of new technology to “destroy any part of the planet” and kill over a hundred million people using secret weather weapons if the United States, the UN or Georgia tried to stop Russia’s entry into the WTO.
  • Infrared emissions above the epicenter increased dramatically in the days before the devastating earthquake in Japan, say scientists.
  • But writing for the majority, Justice Samuel Alito said that all the Kentucky pot smoker needed to do was tell cops that they had no Constitutional right to enter his fragrant castle. “Occupants who choose not to stand on their constitutional rights but instead elect to attempt to destroy evidence have only themselves to blame” when cops kick their doors down and maybe shoot their dogs, Alito wrote. Got it? All you need to do is yell through the door something to the effect of, “Hey, this is a private residence! I know my rights, man!” The officers will have no choice but to slink away, defeated, leaving you to your warm bath and Songs of the Whales.
    Thanks Dante Ross
  • The situation at the Fukushima plant is currently out of control, says Professor Christopher Busby from the European Committee on Radiation Risks, who gave RT his insight into the recent developments in Japan.
    “Of course, it’s time for the Japanese government to take control. But having said that, it’s very hard to know how you could take control of the situation. The situation is essentially out of control,”
  • This trip is intended as a test of the transpermia hypothesis: that Mars may have held life billions of years ago, and that organisms could have survived the trip to Earth and seeded this planet with life. Those organisms may have invaded the Earth by traveling inside rocks that were blasted off the Martian surface by meteorites. “Whether you can populate planets from other planets is one of the more profound questions,” Betts says. “It’s intriguing, and it’s worth understanding whether the theory is really plausible.”
  • Last week, I spread a rumour on Twitter that in some of the videos seized from his compound during the Navy SEALS raid, Osama Bin Laden was watching my sitcom ‘The IT Crowd’. I did it to illustrate the lightning speed at which a rumour can circulate and mutate on Twitter.

    Only joking! I did it because I thought it would be funny, but it did circulate and mutate really quickly so maybe there’s a good lesson for us here. I mean really, it’s scary what Twitter can do. You can’t get more offline than my mother, and even she said to my brother, the day after the story ‘broke’, “did you hear about your brother and Osama?”

    “So! It appears that one good way of starting a rumour is to pretend that the story is already circulating.
    Reply Retweet
    Does anyone have confirmation that Osama was watching ‘The IT Crowd’ in these home movies? Amazing if true. Don’t know how to feel.”

  • …they say they have found 10 Jupiter-sized objects which they could not connect to any solar system. They also believe such objects could be as common as stars are throughout the Milky Way.

    The objects revealed themselves by bending the light of more distant stars, an effect called “gravitational microlensing”.

    Objects of large enough mass can bend light, as Albert Einstein predicted. If a large object passes in front of a more distant background star, it may act as a lens, bending and distorting the light of that star so that it may appear to brighten significantly.

    The researchers examined data collected from microlensing surveys of what is called the Galactic Bulge, the central area of our own Milky Way.

    They detected evidence of 10 Jupiter-sized objects with no parent star found within 10 Astronomical Units (AU). One AU is equivalent to the distance between our Earth and Sun. Further analysis led them to the conclusion that most of these objects did not have parent stars.

  • Gundersen says Fukushima’s gaseous and liquid releases continue unabated. With a meltdown at Unit 1, Unit 4 leaning and facing possible collapse, several units contaminating ground water, and area school children outside the exclusion zone receiving adult occupational radiation doses, the situation continues to worsen. TEPCO needs a cohesive plan and international support to protect against world-wide contamination.
  • The numbers are disturbingly higher than we have been lead to believe, the number of homes in the villages which are contaminated, the rice paddies, the fact that the “official” six to nine month cleanup is virtually impossible, no matter how much they do accomplish… all of this is what has being kept off the front pages of the mass media.

    The first conversation I had had with Akira Tokuhiro the previous week included the contracts for the clean-up, the bidding process for which was being kept highly secret and is the main reason France’s President Sarkozy headed to Japan so soon after the earthquake and tsunami leading to the accident. It will take a very long time for the surveys to be carried out to determine exactly what needs to be decontaminated, and only so much water for example can be processed per day. TEPCO speaks of 500 to 1,000 people involved with the cleanup, but Tokuhiro claims it will take ten times that amount.

  • Wu-Tang, KRS-One, Tribe Called Quest, Naughty By Nature, DasFX, Guru, Etc…
  • Passengers flying to or from airports that are dominated by a single carrier — like Memphis, Newark or Dallas/Fort Worth — pay fares 20 or 30 percent higher than at non-hub airports. The prices are even more inflated when you’re flying from a smaller city with a limited number of flights. A nonstop one-way ticket from Des Moines to Dallas/Fort Worth is $375 on American Airlines, for example — more than the $335 Delta will charge you to fly from Miami to Anchorage.

    But what happens when you’re interested in flying American from Des Moines to Los Angeles, which hosts a more competitive airport? That flight is only about half the price ($186), despite its being more than double the distance. Now, here’s the trick: American flights from Des Moines to L.A. have a layover in Dallas. If you want to travel to Dallas, the best way to get a reasonable fare is to book the flight to Los Angeles instead, and simply get off the plane at Dallas.

  • WITH a click and a whirr, I am pulled into the scanner. My head is strapped down and I have been draped with a blanket so that I may touch my nether regions – my clitoris in particular – with a certain degree of modesty. I am here neither for a medical procedure nor an adult movie. Rather, I am about to stimulate myself to orgasm while an fMRI scanner tracks the blood flow in my brain.
  • Dr George Kenney, a high school principal in Florida, hypnotized Wesley McKinley, a 16-year-old student, in his office. The next day the male student was found dead, the victim of an apparent suicide by means of drug overdose. Now Kenney has been suspended as police and the school board attempt to figure out whether the nontraditional treatment had anything to do with the death.
    Thanks miamifadecounty.com

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File under Conspiracy Theory, SeMeN SPeRmS BLArRrG, SeMeN SPeRmS Links 'o Death, Sex

Conjured by o~ SeMeN SPeRmS ~o on May 19, 2011

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